Top 12 Seinfeld Episodes

Seinfeld is my favorite comedy of all time and these are my Top 12 favorite episodes:

 

#12.  The Busboy  Season 2 Episode 12

While the gang is out to dinner the table next to them catches on fire and they put it out.  George, innocently enough, tells the manager that the busboy put the menu too close to the candle.  This results in the busboy getting fired.  George, feeling tremendously guilty, goes to the busboy’s house to apologize.  He takes Kramer along with him and they forget to shut his door and his cat runs out.  Meanwhile, Elaine has a boyfriend staying with her for a week and can’t wait for him to leave.  On the morning of his flight, they over sleep and she makes a frantic dash to try to get him packed and to the airport on time.  Julia Louis-Dreyfus is absolutely hilarious in this scene, it pretty much solidified Elaine as a strong a character as the boys.   

Funny Quote:    Elaine:  “I never knew I could drive like that. I was going faster than I’ve ever gone before, and yet, it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. I was seeing three and four moves ahead, weaving in and out of lanes like an Olympic skier on a gold medal run. I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics. At Queens Boulevard, I took the shoulder. At Jewel Avenue, I used the median. I had it. I was there. And then, I hit the Van Wyck. They say no one’s ever beaten the Van Wyck, but gentlemen, I tell you this… I came as close as anyone ever has. And if it hadn’t been for that five-car pile-up on Rockaway Boulevard, that numskull would be on a plane for Seattle right now instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.”

 

 

#11.  The Merv Griffin Show  Season 9 Episode 6

Kramer finds Merv Griffin Show sets in a dumpster and takes them home and sets up his apartment to look like the show.  Jerry is seeing a woman who has an old toy collection that Jerry wants to play with.  Elaine is dealing with a “sidler” at work, a man who suddenly appears right by her without her hearing him.  George, with his girlfriend, hits a pigeon while driving and she gets very upset with him.  So the next time they are driving George swerves to miss a pigeon and ends up hitting a squirrel.  They end up taking it to the vet and “doing whatever is possible” to keep the squirrel alive.  These plotlines are a little weak on their own, but when they go to Kramer’s and talk about them on The Merv Griffin Show, it elevates the episode to a new level.  Kramer and Newman are hysterical as the hosts of a show that they are pretending people are actually watching. 

Funny Quote: 

George: “Don’t we have a deal with the pigeons?”
Jerry: Of course we have a deal. They get out-of-the-way of our cars…we look the other way on the statue defecation.

 

 

#10.  The Bubble Boy  Season 4  Episode 7

When a father recognizes Jerry in the coffee shop he says that his son is a big fan and could Jerry stop by and see him.  The son, Donald, is stuck in a bubble so Jerry feels bad and says yes.  Coincidently, Jerry and Elaine are following George and Susan to Susan’s cabin for the weekend and the Bubble Boy is on the way.  George drives too fast and loses Jerry, so George and Susan end up at the Bubble Boy’s house waiting for them.  Donald ends up being really obnoxious and plays George in a game of Trivial Pursuit.  A fight ensues after Donald answers a question incorrectly as stated on the card, which is an obvious typo.  George struggles with Donald and in the process punctures the bubble.  Just as they are taking him out on a stretcher, Jerry and Elaine show up.  Kramer and Jerry’s girlfriend end up going to the cabin to surprise the others who are not there yet.  Kramer lights a cigar and leaves it, resulting in Susan’s cabin being ablaze when they finally arrive.

Funny Quote:

Bubble Boy:  “Okay, “History”, this is for the game. How ya doing over there? Not too good!”
George:  “Alright Bubble Boy, let’s just play. Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?”
Bubble Boy: “That’s a joke… The Moors.”
George: “Ohhh no! I’m so sorry it’s the Moops! The correct answer is the Moops.”

 

 

#9.  The Soup Nazi   Season 7  Episode 6

The Soup Nazi is probably one of the most iconic characters in the Seinfeld universe.  Based on a real soup restaurant in NYC, the Soup Nazi has very strict rules when ordering, and if you do not follow those rules, “No soup for you!”  Elaine’s B plot is very funny as well, she asks Kramer to watch her armoire outside of her apartment until she can move it in the next day.  Kramer gets taken by two tough gay street thugs who take the armoire right out from under him.  Kramer then ends up getting the Soup Nazi’s armoire and gives it to Elaine, who then finds his secret recipes in the drawers. 

Funny Quote: 

Jerry:  “The guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He’s secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.”
Elaine: “Why? What happens if you don’t order right?”
Jerry: “He yells and you don’t get your soup.”

 

 

#8.  The Contest   Season 4  Episode 11

After George is caught by his mother, alone with a Glamour magazine, the gang makes a bet about who can hold out the longest.  Jerry is having a hard time as he is dating a virgin and there is a naked woman in the apartment across from him.  Kramer can also see the women out his window and he ends up being the first one out of the contest.  Elaine has her own problems as John F. Kennedy Jr. is in her aerobics class and seems interested in her.   Elaine is the second one out.  Jerry and George then tough it out with all their distractions, and the end implies that no one won the contest, but it is referred to in later episodes who actually won.

Funny Quote: 

Estelle:  “I don’t understand you. I really don’t. You have nothing better to do at 3:00 in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk; I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!”

 

#7.  The Junior Mint  Season 4  Episode 20

Jerry is dating a woman that he can’ t remember her name.  Yet, he knows it rhymes with a female body part.  Him and George spend the whole episode trying to guess her name, which results in the most famous guess of “Mulva”.  Elaine goes to visit an old boyfriend, who she had dumped because he was too fat,  in the hospital.  He has now lost weight and Elaine is interested again.  He needs a splenectomy and Jerry and Kramer get to observe the operation.  Kramer tries to give Jerry a Junior Mint and they end up dropping it right into the patient’s body. 

Funny Quote: 

Jerry: “Produce section. Very provocative area. A lot of melons and shapes. Everyone’s squeezing and smelling.”

 

 

 

 

#6.  The Puffy Shirt   Season 5  Episode 3

 

Kramer’s new girlfriend is a “low talker” and during a conversation with Jerry, she asks him to wear a puffy shirt during his appearance on the Today show.  He agrees because he couldn’t hear anything she said.  George has to move back in with his parents and while they are all out to dinner George meets a woman who thinks he would be a perfect hand model.  

 

 

 

 

Funny Quote: 

 

Kramer: This pirate trend that she’s come up with, Jerry — this is gonna be the new look for the 90’s. You’re gonna be the first pirate!
Jerry: But, I don’t wanna to be a pirate!

 

 

 

 

#5. The Pez Dispenser  Season 3 Episode 14

 

George’s new girlfriend has a piano recital and George invites Jerry and Elaine to go with him.  During the concert Jerry puts a Tweety Bird pez dispenser on Elaine’s leg and she couldn’t control her laughter.  She  runs into an old friend outside the concert and he tells her that their friend has a drug problem and he needs Jerry’s help.  So they plan an intervention at Jerry’s which results in George’s girlfriend figuring out that Elaine was the laugher during her performance.  Meanwhile, Kramer is practicing swimming with the Polar Bear Club.

 

 Funny Quote:

 

Intervener #1: He’s here! What do we do?
Intervener #2: Hide!
Jerry: It’s not a surprise party!

 

 

 

#4.  The Hamptons  Season 5  Episode 21

 

The gang is off to the Hamptons to see their friends new baby.  Jerry and George are both bringing girls with them and when George leaves everyone sees his girlfriend topless except him.  George, now very upset that Jerry has seen her half-naked, tries to catch Jerry’s girlfriend as she is changing.  Jerry then sends her to George’s room when he is changing and she sees him naked.  George is now very worried about his “shrinkage” because he was just in the pool.  The conversation between Jerry, George and Elaine about men’s shrinkage is one of the funniest of the series.  Elaine is then infatuated with the baby’s doctor who calls her breathtaking, and then calls the ugly baby breathtaking.

 

Funny Quote: 

 

Jerry: Do women know about shrinkage?
Elaine: What do you mean like laundry?
Jerry: No, like when a man goes swimming afterwards.
Elaine: It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George: It just does.

 

 

 

#3. The Rye  Season 7  Episode 11

 

George and his parents are going have dinner with Susan and her parents.  The Costanza’s bring a marble rye bread and since Susan’s parents never put it out, they took it back home with them.  George is appalled and wants to somehow get the rye back in the apartment.  They set up a date for Mr and Mrs Ross’s anniversary to have Kramer take them on a handsome cab ride.  Kramer, who is now buying huge items at the price club, feeds the horse beef-a-reno and while on the ride, the horse has some digestive problems.  Jerry is in charge of getting another rye from the bakery and a little old lady buys the last one.  He pleads to her and offers her $50 for it, but she won’t budge.  He ends up stealing it from her on the street and runs off with it. H tries to throw it up to George in the apartment window but can’t, finally George uses a fishing pole to  pull it up and when he gets it in the window Susan and her parents are standing there watching him.  Elaine, on the other hand, has her own problems with her saxophonist boyfriend who won’t do everything.

 

Funny Quote:

 

Kramer: One can never be too certain about the gastrointestinal workings of the equine.

 

 

 

#2. The Chinese Restaurant  Season 2  Episode 6

 

This is one episode that epitomizes Seinfeld.  They make a whole episode of television about Jerry, Elaine and George waiting for a table at a chinese restaurant before they go to the movies.  They do nothing else but wait at the restaurant.  The dialog is very real and very funny.  Jerry offers Elaine money to go an eat an egg roll off another person’s plate.  George is trying to get on the pay phone to tell his girlfriend where he is.  There is no big storyline, it is just showing twenty-two minutes out of these people’s lives.  The only reason that this episode isn’t number one is because it doesn’t feature Kramer, and even though it is a classic episode, number one needs to showcase all four cast members.

 

Funny Quote:

 

George: Yes, I’m expecting a call for Costanza.
Bruce: Yes, someone call. I say “Cartwright! Cartwright!” but no one come and I hang up.

After the restaurant owner makes George miss Tatiana’s phone call.)
George: She called. He yelled ‘Cartwright’. I missed her.
Jerry: Who’s Cartwright?
George: (pause)…I’m Cartwright.
Jerry: You’re not Cartwright.
George: OF COURSE I’M NOT CARTWRIGHT!

 

 

 

#1.  The Pick  Season 4  Episode 13

 

The Pick is an episode that all four main characters shine.  Jerry is dating a Calvin Klein model and she catches him possibly picking his nose and she dumps him.  Kramer, who in a previous episode, developed a cologne called the Beach (now called the Ocean) and tried to pitch it to Calvin Klein.  When Kramer comes over to Jerry’s apartment he smell it on his girlfriend and has a fit that they used his idea.  He goes to Calvin Klein to complain and he ends up being an underwear model for him.  George is having problems with Susan so he goes to a therapist and his zipper on his jacket gets stuck.  They both become obsessed with getting it unstuck.  Elaine thinks she wants to send a Christmas card with her picture on it, so Kramer takes the picture and she sends them out.  Once they get out people are noticing that her nipple is showing in the picture.  She is humiliated that she sent them to everyone she knows and the people at work start calling her “Nip”. I love a lot of Seinfeld episodes, but this one is my favorite because each storyline is hilarious and the actors are all on the top of their game here.

 

Funny Quote: 

 

George: “Hey! How come I didn’t get a Christmas card? Everybody else got one. Jerry got one, Kramer got one. I thought we were good friends. I don’t get a Christmas card. I don’t get it.”
Elaine: “You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? All right here. (rubs George’s head on her breasts) Here’s your Christmas card.”