Seinfeld is my favorite comedy of all time and these are my Top 12 favorite episodes:
#12. The Busboy Season 2 Episode 12
While the gang is out to dinner the table next to them catches on fire and they put it out. George, innocently enough, tells the manager that the busboy put the menu too close to the candle. This results in the busboy getting fired. George, feeling tremendously guilty, goes to the busboy’s house to apologize. He takes Kramer along with him and they forget to shut his door and his cat runs out. Meanwhile, Elaine has a boyfriend staying with her for a week and can’t wait for him to leave. On the morning of his flight, they over sleep and she makes a frantic dash to try to get him packed and to the airport on time. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is absolutely hilarious in this scene, it pretty much solidified Elaine as a strong a character as the boys.
Funny Quote: Elaine: “I never knew I could drive like that. I was going faster than I’ve ever gone before, and yet, it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. I was seeing three and four moves ahead, weaving in and out of lanes like an Olympic skier on a gold medal run. I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics. At Queens Boulevard, I took the shoulder. At Jewel Avenue, I used the median. I had it. I was there. And then, I hit the Van Wyck. They say no one’s ever beaten the Van Wyck, but gentlemen, I tell you this… I came as close as anyone ever has. And if it hadn’t been for that five-car pile-up on Rockaway Boulevard, that numskull would be on a plane for Seattle right now instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.”
#11. The Merv Griffin Show Season 9 Episode 6
Kramer finds Merv Griffin Show sets in a dumpster and takes them home and sets up his apartment to look like the show. Jerry is seeing a woman who has an old toy collection that Jerry wants to play with. Elaine is dealing with a “sidler” at work, a man who suddenly appears right by her without her hearing him. George, with his girlfriend, hits a pigeon while driving and she gets very upset with him. So the next time they are driving George swerves to miss a pigeon and ends up hitting a squirrel. They end up taking it to the vet and “doing whatever is possible” to keep the squirrel alive. These plotlines are a little weak on their own, but when they go to Kramer’s and talk about them on The Merv Griffin Show, it elevates the episode to a new level. Kramer and Newman are hysterical as the hosts of a show that they are pretending people are actually watching.
George: “Don’t we have a deal with the pigeons?”
Jerry: Of course we have a deal. They get out-of-the-way of our cars…we look the other way on the statue defecation.
#10. The Bubble Boy Season 4 Episode 7
When a father recognizes Jerry in the coffee shop he says that his son is a big fan and could Jerry stop by and see him. The son, Donald, is stuck in a bubble so Jerry feels bad and says yes. Coincidently, Jerry and Elaine are following George and Susan to Susan’s cabin for the weekend and the Bubble Boy is on the way. George drives too fast and loses Jerry, so George and Susan end up at the Bubble Boy’s house waiting for them. Donald ends up being really obnoxious and plays George in a game of Trivial Pursuit. A fight ensues after Donald answers a question incorrectly as stated on the card, which is an obvious typo. George struggles with Donald and in the process punctures the bubble. Just as they are taking him out on a stretcher, Jerry and Elaine show up. Kramer and Jerry’s girlfriend end up going to the cabin to surprise the others who are not there yet. Kramer lights a cigar and leaves it, resulting in Susan’s cabin being ablaze when they finally arrive.
Bubble Boy: “Okay, “History”, this is for the game. How ya doing over there? Not too good!”
George: “Alright Bubble Boy, let’s just play. Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?”
Bubble Boy: “That’s a joke… The Moors.”
George: “Ohhh no! I’m so sorry it’s the Moops! The correct answer is the Moops.”
#9. The Soup Nazi Season 7 Episode 6
The Soup Nazi is probably one of the most iconic characters in the Seinfeld universe. Based on a real soup restaurant in NYC, the Soup Nazi has very strict rules when ordering, and if you do not follow those rules, “No soup for you!” Elaine’s B plot is very funny as well, she asks Kramer to watch her armoire outside of her apartment until she can move it in the next day. Kramer gets taken by two tough gay street thugs who take the armoire right out from under him. Kramer then ends up getting the Soup Nazi’s armoire and gives it to Elaine, who then finds his secret recipes in the drawers.
Jerry: “The guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He’s secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.”
Elaine: “Why? What happens if you don’t order right?”
Jerry: “He yells and you don’t get your soup.”
#8. The Contest Season 4 Episode 11
After George is caught by his mother, alone with a Glamour magazine, the gang makes a bet about who can hold out the longest. Jerry is having a hard time as he is dating a virgin and there is a naked woman in the apartment across from him. Kramer can also see the women out his window and he ends up being the first one out of the contest. Elaine has her own problems as John F. Kennedy Jr. is in her aerobics class and seems interested in her. Elaine is the second one out. Jerry and George then tough it out with all their distractions, and the end implies that no one won the contest, but it is referred to in later episodes who actually won.
Estelle: “I don’t understand you. I really don’t. You have nothing better to do at 3:00 in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk; I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!”
#7. The Junior Mint Season 4 Episode 20
Jerry is dating a woman that he can’ t remember her name. Yet, he knows it rhymes with a female body part. Him and George spend the whole episode trying to guess her name, which results in the most famous guess of “Mulva”. Elaine goes to visit an old boyfriend, who she had dumped because he was too fat, in the hospital. He has now lost weight and Elaine is interested again. He needs a splenectomy and Jerry and Kramer get to observe the operation. Kramer tries to give Jerry a Junior Mint and they end up dropping it right into the patient’s body.
Jerry: But, I don’t wanna to be a pirate!
Intervener #2: Hide!
Jerry: It’s not a surprise party!
Elaine: What do you mean like laundry?
Jerry: No, like when a man goes swimming afterwards.
Elaine: It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George: It just does.
Bruce: Yes, someone call. I say “Cartwright! Cartwright!” but no one come and I hang up.
George: She called. He yelled ‘Cartwright’. I missed her.
Jerry: Who’s Cartwright?
George: (pause)…I’m Cartwright.
Jerry: You’re not Cartwright.
George: OF COURSE I’M NOT CARTWRIGHT!
Elaine: “You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? All right here. (rubs George’s head on her breasts) Here’s your Christmas card.”